New Year's Resolutions are a great idea aren't they? Think about all of the things we want to improve about our lives and firmly decide to do better in the coming year. Like magic we are transformed right? Um...no. Usually the resolve lasts a couple of weeks before fading into the oblivion of same old, same old. Year after year. Why is that? Why don't we stick to what we swore we would accomplish? We were certainly motivated and sincere when we stated our resolutions. We meant it. Deeply. Profoundly. This time would be different. Just like we meant it last year...but. Well...we forgot. Or changed our minds when the going got rough, and the alarm went off early and it was cold outside. Or we decided resolutions were stupid. Or we just weren't cut out for change for a myriad of reaso
Here's my personal top 5 reasons (excuses) why resolutions haven't worked in the past. Maybe a few will sound familiar:
1) I convince myself that because of (fill in the blank) in my past or present, reaching a particular goal must be harder for me than for all of the other people who are actually DOING it. For instance that person that reached the weight goal when I didn't must have a faster metabolism than me. Or an easier childhood. Or a more supportive family. Or more time. Surely all those other people have more than the same 24 hours in each day that I do somehow. Or they have more money. Or...blah blah blah...you get it. The old mental fake out of "It's not MY fault it's my circumstances." This one has comforted me on many a failed goal.
2) Bad habits die hard. They fight back. And when they hit me with a right hook and it hurts, I often throw in the towel and let them win.
3) Poor planning and time management. I'm Queen Scatterbrain by nature, so this is a common one for me if I'm not super dilligent. Plus I really really like naps, so you can see the problem.
4) I didn't clearly identify my "why." Unless you emphatically know (deep in your gut) WHY you want to reach a goal it will be hard to stay on track and make changes. Because change is hard. Inertia is easy. The WHY makes the difference. Every time.
5) Sometimes things beyond my control really have derailed progress, but rather than work through the challenges to find solutions I roll over and give up. I cry "poor me" and have a donut to sooth the pain. Because...chocolate...duh.
But the absolute number one overriding reason I have not met goals in the past kind of encompasses the above and then some. I have this tendency to tackle too much at once. Really everything at once. Bite off not just more than I can chew, but more than twenty people could have chewed on their best days. It took me years to create the beautiful mess that equals my life, and in my infinite wisdom I charge in with enthusiasm in overdrive convinced that I can solve all problems in a few weeks or less. When it doesn't quite go that way it feels confusing, and like an uphill battle that cannot be won. So why even try? I take my bruised ego off to go find something else more fun to do. Like play solitaire, or something equally productive.
I'm making it sound a little bit like I have never reached goals before and am always a lazy whiner. Not so at all. I reach goals often. I'm strong and successful and high achieving quite often actually. Like most people though, I win some and I lose some. Sometimes I pull the strength from inside myself to push through like a champion. Sometimes I make myself and others proud. And sometimes I fall down. Epically fail. Hit snooze a dozen times on the alarm. Sneak a cookie.
I am human. We all are. So we all have ups and downs in this life. But the times I win are when I am doing the opposite of what I described above. I succeed when I deliberately choose goals based on clear and powerful whys. Plan, prepare and follow though. Muscle through the pain, both physically and mentally, and just simply don't consider failure to be an option. That is the purpose of this blog. To help me structure changes in my life in a consistent and balanced way. To not get overwhelmed by attempting too much at one time. Accomplishing huge goals is awesome for sure. Who wouldn't love to be a superstar standing on the gold medal platform at the Olympics? But accomplishing many small things, one at a time consistently over the years is just as amazing. In truth if you spoke to the medal winning athletes they'd likely tell you they reached the big goals line upon line in baby steps anyway, with many of years of practice and many hiccups along the way to the gold. For my personality it is essential to be the tortoise, not the hare. I know this from 47 years of personal evaluation of what works and what doesn't. So...for me I'm trying one life category a month and only one (maybe two if they both are small) goals a month chosen from that category. So let's look at the lists we created for BODY and chose ONE (maybe maybe two, but only if they are very small) goals to focus on in January. I had a couple in mind, but then my husband gave me the P90X program for Christmas and wants to do it with me, so that put that one front and center in priority in a hurry.
For January my only goal requirement of myself will be to workout 6 days a week according to the p90x plan. That's it. Does this mean I can't also start watching what I eat and sleep more and drink more water etc? Of course not. If I feel inspired to do those things on a given day, and it's not stressing me out, I will go ahead and do them. But I won't focus on that. Or worry over it. I am only holding myself accountable for the workouts. That's it. Resolutions don't look so scary when there is only one in view to fuss over do they? More on this later.
Happy New Year!! Let's make 2016 the best year yet!